im gay
i know
yea but for you.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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