I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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