My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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