The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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