I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
