He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
