At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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