was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
