I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
