why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
