Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
So apparently I’m into choking now
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
