if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
