TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
