I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
