Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
