Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
