No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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