i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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