worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
