I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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