he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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