make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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