U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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