I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
