If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
