She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
