I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
