I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
