No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
