He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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