Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
