is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
