My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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