This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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