When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
