Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
