I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
