no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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