it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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