he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
