What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
