An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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