Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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