You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
