1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
