Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
