what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
