now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
