I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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