I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
